Gwen West
by lankree
Summary: You think you know, but you never have a true idea of what the Universe is doing behind your back. Dick Grayson gets a new view on life when his social world, business world and Titans world collide.
1. Network

Gwen West

Part One - Network

…

_My name isn't the kind that sounds good when it's called out in passion, so I tell all the girls I bed to call me Flash. But she's different. When she says my name, moaning it between those thin, sweet lips, it falls off her tongue like pearls of honey. She's the only girl I've ever taken more than once and it had more to do than my being her first time. I've left virgins before, no longer as virgins mind you, but there was something desperate in the way she held onto me when she reached her climax that told me I could not let her go. It might have been the way she tensed up when I removed her clothes, how she gasped as my lips touched skin that had never been seen by any eyes but her own. Maybe it was the way she had pleaded, when I thought to stop and turn away: "You can do anything you want to me, but don't tease me." She needed this, but maybe more than that she needed me. Maybe she thought I was the first person to ever think she was beautiful. Maybe I'm the only person who's ever approached her with nothing other than my true intentions: she's been used, played the fool and hurt the way no girl should ever have been. Maybe that's why I couldn't let her go… maybe that's why this was all a mistake._

…

He moved. She moved. Their moves were just barely out of sync. They didn't know each other that well, to know their bodies and fighter's spirit so personally, but it was good enough. He moved. She moved. The ground gave way as their pointed toes made contact with the bared pine surface of their training room.

She was making the air thin; that and the layer of sweat he couldn't control. There were few things that the Boy Wonder couldn't control: his sweat was one, she was the other.

Robin turned and she turned, the energy of the universe was concentrated there, in their bodies and no where else. In the tower, other things were happening: Wonder Girl and Starfire were beating the hell out of each other in their Amazonian battle training. Cyborg was working on one of the Titans' transport units and Changeling was up to his knees in some of the miscellaneous oddities that occupied his time. They were all doing these things with no souls, because all their spirits, their warrior parts, their intelligences, their curious habits, were locked in the room with Robin as he moved and she moved.

They had done this before: moved without speaking. Like before, it made Robin sick to his stomach. They were great communicators, the two of them, but as of late, there were less and less words for them to say and even less of those that either of them was going to communicate.

Lately, more and more of their conversations had been like the dialog bubbles in comic strips: the words were there, but they were flat, meaningless and in someone else's handwriting.

Robin knew it was because she had made up her mind… what she hadn't done was convince him that she was doing to right thing.

He turned fiercely with something definitive in his mind. He needed more; he needed to know something more, he had to prove to himself that he could trust her to grow up. He had trained his body for years to do moves so efficiently, he had beat his body until his mentors forbade him to train, then he would do it all over again. There were few people in the world who could evade his sweep kicks, his body could get impossibly low to the ground, his leg could swing out fast and sharp and take an opponent from standing to sitting as fast as .33 seconds. He had timed it once. He constantly made mental notes on things like that.

When he spun his leg for such a decisive kick, he estimated that given the height from her backend to the ground was about three feet, it would take her .41 seconds to hit the floor solidly and validate his suspicions. He hadn't expected her to prove competent and he surely hadn't expected her to be retaliatory. She leapt over his sweep kick, turning as she did, to put her leg in position to collide solidly with his chest. That failed too. Robin evaded, switching into the defensive and executing an evasive back flip, moving his body from immediate danger. She followed, her legs flicking forward in three alternating kicks, all of which he blocked with one cycling forearm.

He wasn't exactly sure how it happened. He remembered turning to the offensive. The next thing he became aware of was his back meeting the wall and her boot pinning him there. Her eyes were firm, her body angles tight: one slender foot remained on the ground as the other was pressed into his sternum. She turned her face to him, her body rigid in profile as she waited for him to give conceit. She knew what had happened; she wanted him to accept it.

His masked eyes stayed on hers, trying to find some trace of doubt, some instance of weakness. He found neither so his eyes found the floor. She knew it was as close as an admission of defeat as she was going to get and because it was her nature, she decided not to push it. She retracted her foot by pivoting her hips and nothing else, the joints slowly pulled that graceful leg back until it dropped to the floor to meet the other one.

"So you're sure there's nothing I can say to change your mind?" He asked.

She shook her head in the negative. "Robin, you knew this day was going to come. You need to accept it. Eventually we're all going to move on. We all have to."

"Not you… I didn't think you'd… At least, I thought you'd be the last."

"You thought wrong." Raven replied.

She had told him, in no uncertain terms that she was leaving the Titans. Robin hadn't liked it at all. What made it worse than her unshakeable determination to break her bond to the Titans were her reasons. There were two reasons: one had brown hair, the other had black.

Robin had figured that with the Brotherhood of Evil dismantled that the Titans would find some sense of normalcy: as much as there could be for teenage crime fighters who lived in a giant T. But things… changed. The dynamic of the Titans, when it expanded from five, to six, to upwards of two dozen, had shifted and their relationships were changed as well. No one expected Beast Boy to grow up so fast, sliding into Changeling almost over night. No one had thought Jinx would make such a thorough heroine and no one thought that Kid Flash would stay…

At least they had been right about the last one.

The Titans' network was established linking the Teen Titans to Titans East to the world sphere of other gifted young heroes. For the most part those that didn't belong to a tower went their separate ways. There were two exceptions: "Wonder Girl" Donna Troy and "Kid Flash" Wally West. Those exceptions were the reason why Robin found himself in the situation he was in.

That night that she came to him, he was in the evidence room compiling a record on "The Elemental" who had managed to escape from Jump City's answer to Arkham "Impermeable". It turned it out it was the wrong answer: Impermeable was easier to get out of than Titans' Tower was to get into. They really needed to work on that. He heard the door slide open, saw a shadow on the floor and knew it was Raven.

Her hood was up. Her cloak was wrapped a bit tighter than normally around her body. She had grown a bit, her hips were fuller and some time ago she left behind her leotard for a dress with a slit cut high enough that if you looked up it just right you could see the angle of her black panties: not that the honorable Boy Wonder had, but he had heard from multiple credible sources.

The door slid behind her and she walked forward, her unique eyes surveying the room to verify for her visual senses that she was truly alone with him. Robin sat back and waited; she stepped forward and demanded his attention. She certainly got it.

"I'm leaving the Titans."

Robin was the master of many things, many skills and many talents; but hiding his surprise was something that he could be bested at when it came to what Raven could, would and did say.

"Can you repeat that? I think I had something crazy in my ear."

"You heard me. I'm leaving the Titans."

"Raven, you can't be serious."

"Have you ever known me to be anything but serious?" Raven asked.

"No." He replied sombrely.

"Then why did you think this would be different?" She crossed her arms just a bit tighter. Her cloak moved, he noticed her body again; he tried not to think about it.

"What's… this about Raven?"

She pulled her hood down as if taking off a mask or a grand façade. Everything she did was either theatrical or graceful. The way she was breathing and looking away just so was a little bit of both. "For the good of the team… I think its best if someone goes… I don't have the authority to volunteer anyone but myself… so, I'm leaving."

"Raven. This isn't about what I think it is? I'm sure with time you can get used to Wonder Girl. You two bump heads, but everyone bumps heads from time to time. It's not a good enough reason to leave."

"It isn't her, not specifically. The Titans always worked best when we were a five piece. We know from experience that the number six is a poor fit."

Robin thought to say something to the contrary, Raven was being too hard and too truthful, but she wasn't right. She stopped him from calling her on it. "I feel crowded." She said simply.

"You didn't feel crowded when there were seven of us."

Raven's huge doe eyes blinked once, twice. "Richard…"

Robin sighed, running his hands through his highly stylized hair. Whenever anyone used real names, it was something serious. Because Raven had no alias, every conversation with her was dealt with a great amount of seriousness.

"Does this have something to do with Kid Flash leaving?"

"I came to Jump City a long time ago looking for a group of heroes to help me fight Trigon. I didn't want to get emotionally attached, but I did… Now that Trigon is gone and the Titans Network is set up, my reasons aren't…"

"Stop… either your next words are going to be you don't need us or you don't think we need you. If I can help it, I'm not going to let you lie. Our bond…"

"Means more to you than it does to me and we both know **that** isn't a lie." Raven replied.

Robin's knuckles cracked. Raven's breathing remained even. Nothing else was stable.

"Are you going to tell me next that you used us and nothing more? That we really don't mean anything to you except as armor and flashy distractions?"

"If you want me to get angry, I can do this easily." Raven replied.

"Then that makes two of us." He stared, she stared. Nothing got done.

Feet were moving outside that room. Peoples' lives were going on. Gar was entertaining thoughts of food, Kori was doing something ridiculous that would be excused because she was cute and strong and resilient to everything except name calling. Victor was probably waiting on Sarah Simms and Donna was more than less likely doing something that would eventually push Raven's buttons.

Inside that room, feet were still. Eyes were angry and at least one of them was categorically pissed.

"I want you to reconsider."

"I want you to let me go."

"I can't." Robin said definitively.

"Why not?" She removed herself from the desk, standing up as tall as she could as she looked down at him with those unique eyes.

"Because I know what this is about. This isn't about the Titans or even Donna. This is about you and Kid Flash." Robin didn't see anything in her face to tell him he had gone too far, so be continued to push. "If it were anyone else, I'd trust them… but I can't with…"

"What?"

Robin signed and stood up, leaning against the desk for the tiniest bit of support. "This is a matter of your feelings… we've all see how dangerous and undeveloped those are." Her face became a little tight, but it wasn't enough to shut him up. So he kept going. "You fall in love with anyone who's nice to you. Aqualad, Changeling, Malchior, Kid Flash, me, probably Cyborg and Speedy too. You don't know what love is and you keep following anything that smells a little bit like---"

He had to stop. She stopped him. He'd remember the sting of her hand over his cheek for years, probably all the way to the grave… which appeared to be where he was going immediately from the murderous glare in Raven's face.

"Because I believe in that angry monster I'm looking at lies my friend, I'll write all the things you just said in invisible ink for my memory."

"Raven, I'm sorry." She said nothing, but didn't look away. "Raven, talk to me."

"I'm not sure I want to talk to you right now, Richard. We may say things we regret."

He had to think. His proverbial feet were already cut to shreds from the glass he had just noisily trampled across. He felt a little sick and in that nausea was curiosity, it would take all his talents as a man to cure himself of both.

"As long as we're honest, we can't hurt each other. You're my friend, I'd never do anything to hurt you."

She wasn't buying it. Robin became aware that he might have ruined a very fragile thing. Robin made a decision and pulled off his mask, revealing adulterated blue eyes. He leaned forward, in a very intimate way, trapping Raven's body against the desk, one hand on the table on either side of her hips. He could tell by her face that she didn't know what to think and had no clue about what to do.

"I've done things I regret." He said, keeping a few inches between her unsure face and his determined one. "We all have. I've hurt you before and I'm hurting you now, but it was never intentional. I care about you."

"There was a time when you didn't." Her whispers were more sinister than most curses or spells of damnation. She was so good with her tone, even after years of telling himself he wasn't afraid of her, she could still cut right through him.

"I'm not going to tell you that I've always felt the way I do now. Things are different than they were in the past. In the past, I didn't always treat you the way you deserved."

"In the past, you didn't respect me."

"That isn't---"

"Don't. We both know that is the truth. I saw it back then, but I never said anything about it. When you were Slade's apprentice… you could hurt us all, but you choose not to hurt Starfire and you constantly choose to hurt me."

"That was different Raven. I was under Slade's control."

"Slade didn't make you avoid Starfire to fight me. Slade didn't make me just a target to you."

"Raven, you're not being fair."

"I know that. That's why I didn't want to talk to you right now. Because I'm being honest, and I'm still hurting you. I came in here to tell you the truth, not to fight and not to unseed everything I've managed to bury for the last few years."

"You have to understand…"

"That you think I have the emotional capacity of a small child? Yeah, I got it. But I'm not listening. I've never stopped you from doing what you believed you needed to do. Be that much a friend and do the same for me."

"You're different."

"I've heard that before." Raven replied. She was still aware of how close he was to her and how angry she was and if he was lucky or if she was particularly merciful, nothing consequential would become of it. "You can be worried about me without being judgemental."

He thought to sigh, she misread him and pushed him away from her. They stood a good few feet apart, uneasy in a manner they hadn't been in a very long time. This was very serious.

"I feel something for Wally… I can't put words to it, maybe it's because I'm inexperienced or maybe because it's too delicate to be touched with labels… whatever the reason… the last time I checked, it wasn't a crime for me to feel something for others."

"Prove to me that I'm wrong to doubt you."

"I don't have to prove anything to you." Raven replied.

"Then why did you come here?"

"Because I wanted to do this the right way… and to let you know that you're wrong. I never loved you."

"I know that. You've never loved anyone and I'm afraid you don't know how."

"How old are you, Richard?"

"Seventeen."

"Good. Then there's hope that when you're a man you'll stop saying stupid, hateful things."

"Raven."

"Don't apologize anymore." Raven rose her hand to make sure he listened to her. He wove his arms around his chest and got a real close look at her. There were a lot of things about her that he would never appreciate. One of those things was her capacity for control. "We've never been honest with each other… it's not our style."

"Tell me something truthful for once. Why Wally?"

"If I asked you why Kori, could you answer me?"

Richard Grayson had nothing to say.

That had been two nights ago, last night he went to her room and demanded that she give him something to believe in, if she was really going to leave. That morning he interrupted her Tai Chi and continued to attack her and that evening she was leaving the Titans.

Richard Grayson would be the one who palmed her communicator as she walked away towards the sun. He would be the only one who watched her go; she choose to walk, he knew she was a drama queen. He told himself he knew a lot about Raven and that in a few weeks, months tops, that she'd be back, ready to live the life she knew, that she was accustomed to, that fit in with her style and sensitivity.

She never came back.

Four years later, he found her.

End of Part

AN:

My word choice might be a bit misleading in this part. There was no previous Rob/Rae relationship. The instances of their feelings are totally platonic from Robin's angle. However, he did know that she had a crush on him.


	2. Run de Run

Gwen West

Part Two: Run de run

He really hoped it didn't rain. He hated running in the rain. It was one of those things that grinded his gears: the rain, Slade Wilson and Bruce's lectures. It seemed that he couldn't get the former without the others, or something equally disastrous. Dick Grayson hated very few things, but the rain was absolutely one of them.

He wanted it to stay sunny because after being in that stuffy city in his stuffy apartment for a week, the weather had finally cleared up and he could get out of apartment 3A in the lower Gotham skyrise complex he had taken to inhabit. He could have a better place, he could have paid for one or just asked and received a better room, but the one he had was just fine: it was small, it didn't smell and it was as far away from Wayne Manor as he could get while still being in the city.

Dick leapt over a park bench with ease, drawing the attention of an old lady and her small dog. The lady was curious, the dog was not impressed. His legs stretched wide as he hurdled. Though it was looked down upon, the Greater Downtown Gotham City Park was really the best, and only, place for Parkour. There were obstacles to hurdle over, distractions that demanded his attention, results that tested his control and more importantly, it was closed enough to let his mind be open with reasonable restrictions.

All those things were good, as far as Dick was concerned, except for the distractions. He only decided that distractions were bad after he ruined the art of running by stumbling when his eyes fell on her.

There was no emotional significance to his reaction. It was all physical. His eyes told his brain too fast, in no uncertain terms, and his brain responded in the most miserable function it knew how: it disoriented him.

There were a lot of things he was expecting to find when he came back to Gotham: extra bright lights, a consistently orange-brown sky, Barbara Gordon, some punk named Tim, lectures care of one Bruce Wayne and some of the most ruthless, physical monsters that humanity would ever know. In every struggle, there was the good and the bad, the sweaty and the clean, the hell-bent and the relative saints: Dick didn't always know which of those extremes he fell on; sometimes he was only a hair's breadth from one or the other. Sometimes it bothered him, sometimes it didn't matter. Right now, a lot of things didn't matter, because it appeared that what he thought he knew about his world, the universe and his backyard simply wasn't the case.

When her eyes turned to him, her mouth was occupied with gummy candy. The two of them were looking at strangers: he had never met her, she had never heard of him. She didn't seem to find him as anything particularly fascinating, as far as Dick could tell. She continued to hold her candy with her entire fist, chewing it enthusiastically as she looked at him because he was in her immediate range of vision and because he was different. He wasn't a face she knew intimately, so she looked for a long time.

Dick Grayson caught his breath and did the most daring thing he had done in a good number of years: he said hello.

There had been two of them: one he knew, one he didn't. The one he didn't know already had her attention focused on him, the one he did turned her mature features to look forward and simply gazed: she didn't stare, she maintained her blinking cycle, she didn't look surprised, displeased or impressed in any way, shape or form. It was like four years hadn't happened.

Except everything was different… at least everything wasn't how he expected.

"Dick, it's rude to stare."

_That's the first thing she says to me? Not 'Hi Dick'? 'Long time no see, Dick'? Meet the candy chewing baby on my lap, Dick'?_

"It's a baby," She said calmly, "Not a freak show."

Dick remembered how to blink. A few moments later, he'd remember how to breathe and feel shame.

"Is that…"

"It's a baby. Haven't we been over this?"

That was when Dick got his breath back.

Raven continued to rub the baby's back and the baby continued to chew her candy as she gave him a look that Dick decided was one saved for the terminally stupid. That look made him decide not to ask Raven if it was hers. Those eyes said it all. They were the same shape as Raven's, but the color was different: it was human, natural, totally un-unique, totally un-Raven.

Of course, Raven looked un-Raven, at least she didn't look the way he had projected her in his mind: though in truth, he had done no such thing. If he were going to be honest with himself, a practice he generally disliked, he hadn't thought about Raven in years. But when he looked at her, body mature, skin pale but natural, eyes as wide and intelligent as he remembered, he couldn't understand how he had managed to forget her.

"You're not wearing a wedding band." Dick said rather randomly. He was very good at observation, but his tact was lacking. It was the one thing that Raven knew about Dick without question: Dick Grayson was blissfully unaware of subtlety.

"I'm not married." She replied.

That was when Dick felt his cheeks grow just a bit red. She didn't seem to be leaning towards any particular emotion about that statement. _Who is this woman?_ Dick asked himself. _The old Raven would have…_

Dick heard a distinct gurgling sound and remembered what had started this dialog. The baby on Raven's lap was a girl with blue eyes and brown hair that had taken to curl over the butterfly barrette headband. She was wearing a powder blue sun dress, her tiny feet clad in white sandals. On her left, upper arm was a band aid. She might have had six teeth in her mouth.

"She doesn't look like you." Dick blurted out. He felt a bit dizzy. Verbal diarrhea had caught him in a particularly unforgiving hold. He had suffered a good range of dehabilitating illnesses; this one was absolutely the worst.

"She's her father's daughter." Raven replied.

"What's her name?" He asked. "Your daughter," He clarified, just in case Raven continued to play around with her words.

"Gwendolyn." Raven replied.

"Gwendolyn Roth?"

"Gwendolyn West." Raven replied.

"But you're not married." He said again.

"Never been… haven't we been over this? I feel like we're talking in circles, Dick."

There was that since of shame again, that Dick Grayson couldn't keep from his cheeks. Dick was perfectly capable of carrying conversations, even with old acquaintances and especially with strangers. Raven Roth was sitting before him as a little bit of both and Dick could barely make full sentences. Conversation was out of the question, he'd have to use super hero speak: short, declarative diction with pauses too short to be filled with outside party intervention, but long enough for him to think and, hopefully, react.

Gwendolyn was drooling, still working that same bit of candy into her mouth. Raven felt the warm saliva touch her hand, looked down at the baby then pulled a cloth bib from her bag to wipe off her fingers.

"Isn't she a little young for candy?" Dick asked, finally able to work his words again in a way that wouldn't get him glared at or insulted.

"She's nine months old, besides the fact that she'll lose these teeth soon enough, she doesn't eat candy very often. Today's a special occasion." Raven pointed to a band aid on the little girl's left arm. "She had shots today. She cried her little head off until I gave her a piece."

"I didn't think you to be the kind to be bullied by a baby."

"You think you know a person…"

It was the way she said it that woke the wind. The gentle breeze cut off his words. The air moved through the short blades of grass, it rippled over the pond not twenty feet to the west. He watched the short strands of his midnight black hair flicker into his face as the incredible length of hers fluttered over and around her shoulders. Her slender feet were clad in expensive looking high heels that were a shiny black, not really appropriate for a park. Neither was the secretary's skirt that hugged her thighs and hips. Her white blouse would have been a stain magnet for any other woman. Dick didn't venture to guess if those dangling earrings had ever been a target of Gwendolyn's attentions or a pull or two from those little hands. Raven's skin didn't look the way he remembered it, she didn't look unique anymore. Her tone was close to his own, but paler. Her look was clean, classy, classic really. She looked the part of a woman who wanted to be seen, recognized, admired… it was so un-Raven Roth.

"You look different."

"I am different. You aren't though. Your posture, your lack of social graces, and your disposition haven't changed a bit in four years."

He didn't like the look in those unique eyes. She was an empath, she knew how his emotions were flickering beneath his heartbeat and she was playing on them. She had never done such a thing before. He hated that she was doing it now. He didn't have super powers, he had simple strength of will and a since of pride that could blind even the truly righteous. He didn't like be tossed around, if he let her, she might continue to.

"Raven, I don't know if you noticed, but you don't know anything about me." Dick ignored that little trickle of sweat that ran from the base of his hair line down the side of his face. Raven didn't. She watched it; she trailed its every second until it disappeared in a larger pool in the nape of his neck. He was handsome, but he knew that that wasn't the reason why she was looking at him so. Four years had been too long a time to hope that somehow that bond could work both ways.

"It's a common thread between us…" Raven said. Gwen gurgled, drawing Raven's attention to the small girl for a few seconds. She didn't look up from Gwen's soft face before speaking to him again. "Do you want to change it?"

"I'm not sure." It was the first time he had been honest with her in a very long time.

He heard her snort, saw her adjust an amulet around her wrist, watched her turn those eyes back to him. Her tone had always been cold, except for that one time, just that one time, when she trusted him with her future. She had a future now, she didn't need to give him any affection. "Coward. We're in a new city, with new lives and you're afraid that I'm in love with you still after all these years and a beautiful baby on my lap. You know Boy Blunder, a little ego deflation never hurt anyone."

"Boy Blunder?"

"Prove to me you're someone different." Raven said simply.

He knew a challenge when he heard one. He could have fallen into a trap of her word games, could have been insulted a bit more, punished a bit more because of his surprise and lack of preparation, but that wasn't what he wanted. It had been a long time since he had last gotten what he truly wanted, he didn't see any particular reason why today he couldn't change that.

"I'm sweaty." He said, laying out in indirect words, but no uncertain terms, that there would be some sort of end to their running around each other with words. Either he'd catch up or she'd stumble and they'd both be at the same place.

"And you stink a bit." Her words made it difficult to fathom where that same place was and if he'd ever get home again. Raven reached into her purse and pulled out an expensive, mobile communications device, flipped it open and demanded his phone number and address. "Why don't you run home and Gwen and I will be around in an hour to pick you up?"

"Pick me up?"

"I'm beyond positive your apartment isn't baby proof. We'll go back to my place, have a drink, and realize just how little we understand each other."

"What will you do for an hour?" Dick asked.

Raven presented a bag with a few slices of bread in it. "What we came here in the first place to do: feed the ducks."

"Raven, how old are you?"

"I'll be twenty-three in two months."

"You were seventeen then, when we fought Trigon."

Raven nodded, unaffected. "And I was eighteen when I left the Titans."

"I thought I was older than you."

"It's funny how you keep calling them wrong, isn't it?"

Dick Grayson forgot all about the art of running and simply took the pace that would get him home the fastest and with minimal pains. Minimal was relative, his knees became sore and his feet throbbed a bit, but the harsh hot water he used to cleanse himself beat the fast rush of his blood through his heart. He turned his neck to wash all his manly parts: his shoulders, his back and thighs, paying special attention to his neck and that place on his chest where sweat loved to pool.

His apartment still had a few boxes to unload. It wasn't that he made many personal possessions; it was simply that he was a terribly inefficient packer. Another person, more suited to being uprooted, could have packed his things into a third of the boxes he had. He narrowly avoided mashing his toe on the corner of his coffee table, it was really a piece of crap, but he hated to get rid of it. It still worked, it was just dangerous to maneuver around it, especially while combing through his wet, blue-black hair.

_Raven was right; this is no place for a baby._

He felt the air knocked out of him and he had to sit down. He had looked at her, seen it with his own eyes, but his body still refused to accept it. Raven Roth, the pale skinned, unappreciated, under-recognized, under-whelmed… underling was a mother and beautiful and confident and a million other things that he just wasn't prepared for. The only things that remained about her for sure were those unique eyes that simply saw so many things. It was the window to the empath's soul, it was what made her such a strong mystic, it was what made Raven, Raven. He had looked into them, looked through them once, but never saw any of the things she could see.

Dick combed his hair. He rolled the cuffs up on his best pair of dark jeans, his shirt was thankfully free of wrinkles and he smelled good by the time his crappy cell phone rang and Raven let him know that the lovely Gwen West and Miss Rae Roth were waiting for him downstairs. He locked his door, checked his breath and all but dashed down two flights of stairs to the entrance of his building. He realized he didn't know what kind of car Raven was driving; assuming it was something small and reasonable, baby cute, soccer mom-ish.

He really knew nothing about her.

A car honk turned his attention to the left, where a tinted window was rolling down. Dick raised a slick eyebrow before approaching, sticking his head just far into the car to confirm that it was Raven with Gwendolyn West in a front facing carseat in the back.

Raven sat with her foot holding down the brake, the other resting just higher, the heel of her expensive black shoe pressing into the dark carpet. She was showing off her legs again, Dick was starting to think she was doing it on purpose. She had pulled her long hair into a pony tail in the hour since they had last seen each other. It was pinned between her back and the leather seat of her car. With her earrings and expensive blouse, and that look that he couldn't define in her face, she fit right in.

"I'm going to roll the window up in a few seconds so I suggest you pull your head out and put your body in or you're going to find yourself in an awkward position."

Dick coughed, Gwen honked her toy steering wheel horn, Raven waited.

"You drive a Jaguar?" He asked as he climbed in.

"I drive a Jaguar." Raven affirmed.

Dick buckled up. Raven adjusted her mirror then shifted gears, pulling into traffic quickly.

…

/ She waited for a few seconds and remembered how to breathe. He was looking at her, not the way that used to make her swoon, but in a way that could destroy her if she didn't blink and look away. His hands were touching her, but she felt cold for the first time under his fingers.

"You choose her?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper, it was barely audible over the single, silver tear she was fighting through.

His fingers rubbed over the skin of her cheek and her own fingers. He could be so gentle. He could be absolutely perfect. Even when he was breaking her heart. "I'm sorry Raven, I really like you… but I think there's something more to me and Jinx than to me and you."

"No, there's no need to explain."

"Raven…"

"Become happy."/

End of Part


	3. House

Gwen West

Part Three – House

Dick decided that the only way to drive an expensive, high-class sports car was fast. Raven's fingers tapped on the steering wheel in time to a fast paced jazz CD that was blowing through the sound system. She was driving fast, driving cool, and, apparently, Gwen was used to it; she fell asleep only a few minutes into the ride. Dick became aware of something. Raven was taking them uptown, the polar opposite location of where he lived. He was going to be nice; he wanted her to drive him home. It would be one hell of a long walk. He got the distinct impression that where they were going, the busses wouldn't be running.

He didn't have anything to say to her, he didn't know where to start and where anything he started could possibly end. It shouldn't have been so hard for him to be nice, even if she was different, but a lot of things were hard for him, including the year that lead up to his moving back to the east coast, back to Gotham City.

Dick sighed, Raven raised her eyebrow and the traffic melted away. Uptown Gotham wasn't nearly as dirty and real as the rest of the city. Uptown was where the businessmen lived, Downtown was where their mistresses lived. Uptown was the money, Downtown was the blood, sweat and tears. Downtown was Dick Grayson; Uptown was Bruce Wayne… and apparently Raven Roth.

When Raven shifted gears, her fingers rubbed the leather of the shaft in such a way that no one would notice it if they weren't a talented observer. Dick noticed but didn't know what to say, still didn't know what to say about the weight of it all. That music kept coming through the stereo, Raven's left hand remained on the steering wheel, the right on the gear shaft, all her fingers were beating. His heartbeat didn't have such a coordinated rhythm.

Raven's apartment complex had underground parking and a doorman to meet her and open the door. His name tag said Jeffrey, one of the four stereotypic names for high end servants: Jeffrey, Albert, Jeeves and, of course, Alfred. Jeffrey's gloves were clean, he had a smile for Raven and the sleeping Miss Gwen West and kept that smile on his face as Dick totted a diaper bag and walked three paces behind Raven. They took the elevator to Raven's floor, they had to; the building was sixteen stories high and she lived on the top floor.

Her apartment number was six and was as high as the numbers went on that floor. The layout of the apartment complex was incredibly large, to think that the floor could only have six apartments meant that her home was more than a space for her, a baby and kitchen and a bathroom.

For the first time that day, he was right.

Raven keyed in and the moment he stepped into the apartment, Richard Grayson became stunningly aware that he wasn't in Kansas anymore. The word his mind supplied him to describe the feel of the apartment was a good one: sexy. Raven Roth's apartment was sexy. The angles were clean, the colors were natural, beige walls, leather furniture, the woods were deep and old, the edges rounded, everything was rounded, especially what was low to the ground: if Gwen were to bump her head, she'd rub, not bruise and that was probably the idea behind them all.

"This doesn't look like the kind of place a baby would live." Dick said.

"She didn't always live here. I did exist before Gwen. Don't know how though…"

She left the room to lay her baby down and Dick sat the pale blue diaper bag on the kitchen counter. There was a bar and expensive china, there were candles, book shelves, a magnificent sound system and art that looked in such a way to take away tiny bits of his soul.

She came back into the living room and had her shoes off, so Dick did the same. He tucked them under the coffee table, he was thankful he was smart enough to put on black socks.

"Do you like Brandy?" Raven asked as she made her approach to her mini-bar. She had taken out glasses before hearing his answer. She waited on selecting a bottle.

"I hate it. That's Bruce's drink."

"Indeed, I read that somewhere; that your former mentor enjoys his Brandy. What will you have?"

"Vodka if you got it, Gin if you don't."

She had Vodka and poured him a tumbler's worth and poured herself a tiny sliver of Brandy. He noticed the quality of the liquor immediately as something on the order of ridiculously expensive. He had never had a smoother drink in his entire life.

He had strolled the area of her condo just a bit, saw the etched vases and orchids, each of his steps bringing him closer and closer to the stacked bookshelves.

"You went to college." He noticed, finding two diplomas standing up against the worldly titles in her archive.

"I did."

"An Associates' degree in World Literature and a Masters' in Library Science… both from Gotham University. How long did it take you?"

"Just under three years. I expedited through the Associates degree and got my Masters' part time."

"What does one do with an Associates' degree in World Literature and a Masters' in Library Science?"

"I'm a librarian."

"The hell you are. No librarian makes this much money to afford a Jaguar, a penthouse apartment, expensive art, cloths and liquor, let alone support a baby."

"I'm a head librarian. With Gotham's recent historical renovations initiative, I made out very well with investments, connections and initiative. That's really all it takes…" She took a very shallow sip of her Brandy and watched him scan her bookshelf. His dark blue eyes stopped on a piece of yellow ribbon that was attached to a photo.

"And this is?"

"I told you I'm a head librarian. My specific library is the rare collections that were donated by Gotham University and by Bruce Wayne. That was the ribbon cutting for the new building."

Dick took another drink and felt the liquor warm him up just a bit, able to keep that dizzy feeling away so he could hold a conversation that luckily had become smoother. He took a drink and held the crystal tumbler in his hand and waited for his turn to speak again.

"You can guess why I'm in Gotham… what are you doing back here?"

He pursed his mouth a little, revealing she had hit something of a sour topic. "I got a job."

"Oh? Where?" Dick could tell that she knew exactly where. That old saying was true: women were the most subtle beasts in the garden now that snakes couldn't talk. Dick watched Raven take the tiniest sip from her tiny supply of alcohol then decided to answer.

"The only place that was hiring with my particular skills and talents…"

"And a place where you had connections." She cut in. She walked away from him to sit on her couch. The leather didn't object as she sank into her seat. Her right leg was crossed over the left. Her left hand held her Brandy, her right was stretched over the back of the sofa. He noticed her eyes, her chest, the way the cloth of her skirt bunched and rippled at her thighs. The spill of her purple hair played in perfect contrast with her white blouse and pale skin. He took another drink.

"It's hard quitting the vigilante business." He said, staying where he was. His eyes stayed on the various ornaments and decorations on her bookshelves.

"No more Nightwing?" Her voice came at him from the right with a tiny air of amusement.

"How do you know about that?"

"Every so often I get a call from Roy when he's passing through. Lian and Gwen have play dates."

"You know Garth's going to be a dad soon."

"Didn't know that." She admitted. "With whom?"

"You won't believe me."

"Who?" She asked again.

"Blackfire."

He heard her chuckled, then turned his head to look at her. She wasn't drinking any more of her Brandy. Aside from the two tiny sips he saw her take, she wasn't drinking it. She hadn't poured him enough to get him drunk, it wasn't immediately possible for him to deduce what she was doing. Her lips started to move and he realized she was talking again.

"Somehow, I do believe you… if anyone could tame her, it's Garth."

"He has a way with women."

"You used to have a way with women too… how are things with you and Kori?"

Dick finished his drink. "Kori became a model for some lingerie company. She does catwalks and photo shoots and campaigns. I'm sure you've seen one or two."

"I don't watch much TV, I haven't seen any. But that's not what I asked you."

"You're drinking that little bit of Brandy very slowly." Dick commented. He changed the subject quickly. He was somewhat thankful that Raven let him.

"I have to. I have no tolerance. I can get drunk on a thimble full."

"Then why have it?"

"You're the sleuth between us. You tell me."

Dick sat down with a good foot and a half between the pair. She was reclined back, he was hunched forward. His tumbler was empty, hers nearly there. They were equally drunk considering their tolerances. Dick pursed his lips again and Raven waited with one sleek eyebrow hitched just a bit.

"I suppose to give the father of your daughter confidence to go back to his own life after he visits you here."

"Bingo."

He was beginning to wonder if Raven possessed the capacity for shame. Every time she admitted her circumstance, one which Dick assumed carried very little pride, she didn't bat an eye, didn't worry her lips, didn't change her disposition at all.

"What does Wally do?" Dick asked.

"He's a talent agent."

"Talent agent?"

"He spots talent." She responded, swirling that tiny bit of liquor in her glass.

"Did he see something in you?"

Raven nods, drinks, waits.

"I suppose he had to if he was any good. You could have been in Playboy." Dick became aware that he had nothing left in his glass. Raven noticed as well. She took his tumbler and walked back to her bar and poured him a bit more.

"I can still be in Playboy." Raven responded as she twirled the stop back onto the crystal glass she kept her Vodka in.

"How much of your new look is it?" Dick asked as she handed him his glass.

"What?"

"That amulet on your wrist, it's a ward isn't it? How much has it changed your appearance?"

Raven nodded. "Just my skin tone."

"So the long hair is yours?"

Raven nodded. "It came with pregnancy. Usually in pregnancy women develop fuller bodies… because of some… complications that we're both aware of, that didn't occur with me. My hair grew longer, I grew a little taller and I lost a bit of that baby fat in my face."

"I suppose something like that would happen. Your body couldn't have gotten any more mature."

"When was the last time you created something beautiful?" Raven asked.

Dick raised his right brow. He thought for a few seconds then decided to tell her the truth. "Never have."

"I don't buy it. I think the reason why you're back in Gotham isn't for work. You could get work anywhere. I think you're here for Barbara Gordon."

"How do you know about her?"

"I've met her through mutual friends and if there's one thing she likes to talk about, it's Dick Grayson."

"I don't like talking about Dick Grayson. Let's talk about something more interesting or less pathetic. What was the last beautiful thing you created?"

"She's sleeping in the other room." Raven replied.

When Raven decided it was time for Dick to go home, it wasn't late at all. He only recognized the possibility of it being late when he realized he had an early lunch and no dinner. She stood behind him and watched him put his shoes back on at the doorway. She kept looking back towards her bedroom, as if she expected Gwendolyn to come crawling out any second. By the time had his loafers back on, she hadn't, but Raven kept that particular face.

Dick brushed off his pant legs and that tiny buzz from his alcohol. He stood up straight and realized that he was very much taller than her. She might have been five-nine with her heels, but without them she was lucky if she was five-six. He was over six feet tall, he had to look down at her, he had always had to look down at her… but years ago he made the mistake of looking down on her.

"I lied to you about something tonight." She said simply. "I hope you figure out what it was… let it be motivation for you to come back here."

"I'll come back tomorrow."

Raven shook her head in the negative. "Tomorrow's no good. That's Gwen's Daddy-Daughter day."

Dick shrugged. "I'll see you when she's off."

"No, I'm there too."

Dick rolled his tongue behind his lips. It was the closest he could come to holding his tongue. "You're still in love?"

"Like I'd be involved with anything as selfish as that."

Raven opened the door, let him out, and closed the door behind him. He got to the elevator and remembered that he wanted her to drive him home. Dick snapped his fingers as the elevator slid closed and prevented him from going back and asking for one. It wasn't that he couldn't defend himself against the terror of Gotham's night time streets or that the long walk was particularly inconvenient, it was just that it was a long walk and it would give him plenty of time to think about things.

It was well into spring. It wasn't cold any more, it wasn't hot yet. It was a comfortable season for the east coast. Dick tucked his fingers into his pants pockets and moved through the lit streets away from uptown, back towards downtown. He realized immediately when he had reached the demarcation for downtown, there were kids graffiting nonsense onto public buildings, but they all appeared to be rich kids with their oxford sweaters rolled up around their elbows and their hair gelled and parted just so.

He was one of those kids, who wanted to be dirty because he was stupid. He rebelled worse than any of those brats could think to and he was paying for it in ways he hadn't thought about. It was his biggest flaw, his short sidedness. It got him into more problems then he could put words to.

It was the reason his life was coming to complete a circle he wanted to remain as an arc. It wasn't so rare that he didn't get what he wanted. In fact, it was the story of his life. He was a loser, the kind of guy who would get then have it taken away. He had had a great life as a Flying Grayson, but that was stolen from him. He was a trusted ward, but he was fired from that by the person he trusted the most. He had become the leader of a group of heroes whose legacy was rivalled only by the absolute best, but after some many attacks, so many betrayals, so many deceptions of fate, the glimmer and fantastic sheen was pulled away. He had left the last leg of his life in the hands of Donna Troy and Victor Stone, though with him gone, with the Boy Wonder gone, they really weren't the Titans anymore. They were a group of adults who used to be kids with strong idealism and strong bonds.

Dick hated how things could simply peel away.

It started to rain.

Today was Thursday and on Monday he'd be starting his new job at Wayne Enterprises. He had brought that on himself, but he really didn't know where else to turn to. He hadn't gone to college, and his high school degree was a GED. He had been so busy playing the role of Boy Wonder that he hadn't thought about the end of it all. Only a few of them had: only a few of them had prepared to grow up.

Roy, Garth, Kori, Wally, Raven. They had all gotten out when they were ready to get out, to get what they wanted. From what he understood about their lives, it had worked out for them. Roy was a damn good specialist agent. Garth's family restaurant was the most popular food joint in Steel City. Kori's career didn't seem to have a limit; she was built for such international stardom. And Wally and Raven…

Dick keyed into his apartment and took off his wet shoes and socks. He tossed the shoes to the side and dunked his socks into his dirty clothes bin. The floor was hardwood and cool, convincing him to put on a pair of dry socks.

_Gwen West. Wally West and Raven Roth and Gwendolyn West… I never thought she could do it… that Raven could get what she wanted… even if for a little while, she had Wally West and had a blue eyed girl to prove it. Gwen's nine months old, on top of the nine months of pregnancy… its been a year and a half at maximum… what has she been doing that whole time? _

_What did she lie to me about?_

He should have kept better tabs on her. He should have kept tabs on her, he figured. He hadn't trusted her to grow up well without the Titans, somehow he hadn't believed she'd grow up at all. But then again, he had entrusted her with Melvin's team, he had trusted her with selecting the members of the Titans, he had believed her when she swore to keep his secret identity as exactly that, a secret. In all those tasks she was successful.

He could identify the part of himself that couldn't accept all of this. He massaged his feet for a while, checked his caller ID and found no one had called. Of course, all of three people had his phone number, including himself. Only Bruce and Raven knew he was in Gotham, and he had never thought to make Raven aware, so he could have only expected one person to call. Bruce hadn't.

Dick laid out on his couch and pulled a blanket over his body. His apartment was dark now and the rain struck at his single window that had an amazing view of the apartment complex next door.

He was going to have to see Bruce this weekend, probably endure a stuffy dinner and some lecture about responsibility that he wasn't even going to listen to. He'd make it look like he was making an effort to ingest Bruce's advice, but he wasn't actually going to take any of it to heart.

_The things I do to start again. _

_Maybe I can fix some things that I did wrong the first time. _Dick thumped his forehead with his index fingers.

_Raven Roth and Gwen West… is there even anything for me to fix there? _

Dick would consult his social calendar, even though he knew very well that it was empty, and decided he'd see Raven again this weekend and hear a little more about her world, the universe and Gwen West.

…

/ "Miss Roth, you're going to have to push."

"I am pushing!"

"You have to push harder."

Raven sighed and panted and concentrated on the next contraction. The delivery room was crowded, the air was hot and the father of her child wasn't holding her hand. A nurse held her leg back and wiped her forehead as Raven Roth gave birth by herself in midsummer.

"Miss Roth, it's a girl."

"Why isn't she crying?"

"Not all baby's cry at delivery." The doctor gave the child a firm paddle to her backside and the baby wailed softly.

"Be careful, she's so tiny." Raven sighed. She dropped back to the bed exhausted. The nurses cleaned her baby before passing her along to her mother. The child took to nursing immediately.

"Miss Roth, do you have a name selected?"

"Yes. Her name is Gwendolyn. G-w-e-n-d-o-l-y-n."

"That's a lovely choice. Her surname?"

"… West. W--- E-S-T. Gwendolyn West."

"Miss Roth, do you have any closest of kin who will be arriving?"

"Her father will be arriving. That guy... just loves to make an entrance." /

End of Part.


End file.
